The Rat Who Cried Spoon
by PurpleArmadillo
Summary: Based around the third game. This time Daxter has to find a Precursor Rod for Samos. But why does it strangly resemble a spoon? Very weird and silly. OLD story.


The Rat Who Cried Spoon 

Disclaimer: I still don't own anything about Jak and Daxter, they all belong to Naughty Dog. I do however own the turkey who is my original character from my earlier story, "Even Better Than a Turkey".

Author's Note: Speaking of my Thanksgiving story, if you haven't read my "Even Better Than a Turkey" story or my "Some State Park in Arizona" one, go back and read them first because I make some jokes and comments that you won't understand if you haven't read them yet. This story happens around the third Jak and Daxter game, Jak III. It's sort of like a "missing scene" kind of story. For all of those people who enjoyed my other two stories where I had Daxter go on his own mission, you'll enjoy this one too! I also don't plan on loading all of the chapters under chapter 1 (I forgot about separating them on my first story, and I didn't separate them on my second story only because they were really short chapters. This story will only have one chapter. Here we go….

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Chapter 1: ("On the first day of Christmas" music starts playing in the background) "…Three broken pens, two spiked clubs, and a turkey in a frenzy!"

"Jak, Metal Heads!" Daxter screamed into his friend's ear, as he hung onto his shoulder plate armor for dear life as he was bounced up and down. Jak had been fighting Metal Heads for at least half an hour now and there were STILLmore coming out of the Metal Head section of the ruins that were left of Haven City. No matter how many he took out with the Morph-Gun or his fist, it seemed like two more Metal Heads replaced the fallen ones. But the part that was annoying was the fact that Jak had to worry about the Metal Heads attacks AND the Freedom League's. Most of the time a Red Eco beam, (I think that's what the Freedom League carry. I've also noticed that Jak's guns also resemble Eco. The Scatter-Gun looks like Red Eco, the Blaster looks like Yellow Eco, and the Peace Maker looks like Blue Eco. The Vulcan Fury is just a machine gun type thing. I'm not sure if it really is Eco that gets shot out of the Morph-Gun, but it sounds like a good guess. So that's what I'll say in the story at certain parts.) would narrowly miss his ear because the Freedom League member would be aiming for a nearby Metal Head and Jak just happened to be in the way.

Daxter's stomach did a flip-flop as Jak flipped backwards in the air to avoid another Red Eco beam. "Metal Heads!" Daxter yelled again, loud enough for Baron Praxis to hear. (Which is saying something considering that he's dead.)

"Yeah, yeah, the rat who cried Metal Head!" A random Freedom League Guard sneered at his terrified scream. "This is no place for a rat and his boy!"

"Jak, let's get out of here!" The Ottsel, (I'm going to still call Daxter an Ottsel for the sake of those who didn't play all of Jak III yet, so it doesn't ruin the end.) pointed a furry gloved finger towards a small yet very fast parked Zoomer ahead. For once, Daxter didn't have a come back to yell at the rude Guard.

"Yeah, let's take a break." Jak agreed with Daxter, (one of the first times ever.) as he ran in the direction of the vehicle. Putting his Morph-Gun away, he hopped onto the blue and yellow Zoomer and sped off through the Port on his way to the Freedom League Headquarters. As they zoomed through the city on the, err, Zoomer, (Why do you think it's called a "Zoomer"?) Daxter gazed around at the scene passing by. There were hardly any Freedom League Guards roaming the streets, they were all busy fighting the Metal Heads and Krimson Guard Death-bots. There were a few foolish people who had chosen to go outdoors with all of the chaos going on, running through some alleys. Daxter's thoughts were interrupted as he ducked his head as they passed under one of the palace's broken support beams which was lying in smoking ruins on the ground. After a few more twists and turns, Jak hopped off of the Zoomer and approached the doors to the elevator which led to the Freedom League Headquarters. Jak walked through the automatic doors and onto the elevator.

"Please state what floor you wish to go to, sir," a computer voice crackled out from a speaker in the wall that Daxter didn't notice before. Daxter jumped off of Jak's shoulder and trotted up to the speaker.

"I'd like to go to the only floor in this building. Top floor!" the Ottsel demanded. Nothing happened.

"Hey, what gives?" he moaned, crossing his arms.

"Please and thank you," the computer said awkwardly.

"Fine! Top floor… PLEASE."

Suddenly, the elevator started moving as if "please" had been the magic word. A slight jerk told them that they had reached the top floor. Daxter hopped back onto his friend's shoulder and got ready to go through the doors. Seconds past and the doors still didn't open. Daxter frowned in annoyance. "Uhh…" The Ottsel started thinking. "Thank you." The doors opened to let them through. Jak and Daxter just raised eyebrows and looked at each other.

"Jak, Daxter! Quick, I need you two to go and—" the old Sage of Green Eco started as he noticed the two entering.

"—Not right now, Samos. I need a little break," Jak sighed, collapsing into a chair which had popped up out of nowhere just for the reader's amusement.

"Fine. Daxter can you go and fetch me a Precursor Rod from somewhere in Spargus City?"

"Yeah, whatever…" Daxter mumbled and jumped onto Jak's head, who whacked the Ottsel off. Growling, Daxter sat himself on the floor and got comfortable.

"Uh, Daxter? Aren't you going to—"

"No," he replied to Samos.

"What? You said you would—"

"You asked me if I could, and I can. You didn't ask me if I would, and I WON'T!" Daxter smiled at the Sage with a big cheesy Ottsel grin. His grin quickly turning into a snarl as his head was rewarded with a whack from Samos' staff again.

"Fine, I'll do it." Daxter sighed in defeat. "Hey Jak, can I uh, borrow your Morph-Gun? You know, just in case if I need it?" Jak tossed it to the Ottsel.

"Just make sure it comes back in one piece," Jak warned Daxter. "Here, take my Air Train pass too. You'll need it to get to Spargus."

"Cool!" Daxter exclaimed as he felt the top of the gun in his hand. "See ya soon." He turned around and went back down the elevator, remembering to use the words "please and thank you".

To make a long paragraph short, he took a Zoomer to the Port and used the Air Train pass to take the Air Train to the Wasteland.

As he stepped off of the Train, he quickly ran on all fours inside the garage where all of the vehicles were stored. Once he was inside Spargus City, Daxter stopped a Leaper Lizard nearby. "Please don't eat me!" he moaned as he jumped onto the creature and settled himself on the saddle. Grabbing the reins, he urged the Leaper forwards. It snorted and sat down, refusing to budge. "Not again!" Daxter flattened his ears back in disgust at his back luck. "Wait a minute!" he exclaimed as he got an idea. He could still hear the computer's voice in his ear, "please and thank you." "Please!" The Leaper Lizard make a low growl, as if disappointed that Daxter figured it out, and reluctantly got up and began to trot slowly down the road. Daxter took out a pad of paper and a pen and started to write down that next time when something doesn't move, remember to say please. But halfway through writing, the pen broke in two. "Darn it! Stupid broken pen!" he tossed it away and accidentally hit a civilian guy down the street. "Okay, now we're getting somewhere! So, I need to find a Precursor Rod, hmm, I wish Samos would have told me exactly where to look for it… Oh, well, I'll just begin around here."

"Looking for this?" Daxter froze in his seat. He knew who that voice belonged to... he slowly turned around… it was…

THE TURKEY! AGAIN! He was holding up a rotten tuna fish sandwich in one wing. "Looking for this!" the bird repeated.

"Yuck! No!" Daxter gagged at the sight and smell of the spoiled food. He quickly took out a pad of paper again and a pen and started to write a note to never eat a spoiled tuna fish sandwich, when the pen started to break in two.

"I'm breaking in two!" the pen said as it broke in two.

"Darn it! Stupid talking pen!"

The turkey frowned and looked at what he was holding.

"Oh, uh, hold on a minute…" the bird threw the sandwich away, (accidentally smacking a random civilian with it,) and reached behind his back again. "Ahem, looking for THIS!" He pulled out a long spoon.

"Ah, no. Actually I'm looking for a Precursor Rod."

"Are you blind? It says right here, "Precursor Rod"."

"But, it ah, looks like a spoon," Daxter raised an eyebrow and pointed at the artifact.

"Do I look like a Precursor? I have no idea why they made it look like a spoon! But this IS the Precursor Rod! If it wasn't, then why would I even have bothered to go through all of the trouble of finding it!"

"Um, because you're a birdbrain," Daxter answered simply.

"Look, I don't have patience for this! Do you want it or what?"

"I'm not the one who wants it in the first place! I'm simply bringing it back for Samos!"

"Well, too bad! Because you're not getting it!" The turkey ran away and came back a second later riding a big Metal Head dinosaur thing.

"Ah, a Metal Head!" Daxter screamed again.

"Yeah, yeah, the rat who cried Metal Head!" another random Wastelander aid as he past by. Daxter, once again, took out a pad and a pen and started to write a reminder to himself to get that civilian guy back later for being annoying.

"Wait a minute!" Daxter reached behind his back and pulled out the Morph-Gun, (which was weird because the Morph-Gun is way too big to fit behind his back.).

"Ahhh!" the turkey yelled and his Metal Head started to run away with Daxter hot in pursuit, riding on his Leaper Lizard.

They ran through the city until they arrived near the ocean part of it. The turkey suddenly stopped and jumped off of the Metal Head and onto Daxter's Leaper. Daxter was unprepared for such a sudden action, that he hardly had time to react as the bird grabbed the Gun and threw it into the water. "Jak's gonna kill me…" Daxter said with a worried expression on his face. "Uh, oh…" He turned and ran the other way on his Leaper with the turkey following on the Metal Head. Daxter commanded the Lizard to glide over to a nearby island in the water.

"Ahh!" the turkey panicked as his ride attempted to do the same thing. Unfortunately for the turkey, his dinosaur Metal Head couldn't glide like the Leaper and they both ended up falling into the sea with a splash. The Metal Head (who could swim) swam to the shore, leaving the bird in the water.

"You're on your own!" it said as it rushed off, heading back into the Wasteland. The turkey (who couldn't swim) didn't swim to shore, (duh, that's obvious.)

"I can't swim!"

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a large Metal Head bat came swooping down and pulled the bird out of the water with its talons. "Here, take the stupid Rod!" the turkey threw the artifact to Daxter as they disappeared into the horizon, the Metal Head still carrying the turkey. Daxter grabbed the prize and stuffed it behind his back again.

"Thank you," he thanked the Leaper Lizard as it glided back to the land and dropped Daxter off. The Ottsel began his way back to the Air Train on foot. As he stepped out into the Wasteland, a large group of Metal Heads surrounded him. One of the beasts was holding a shield with a painting of a turkey on it, (Well, we can all guess who sent them now.) and two others holding spiked clubs. (the title of the story's starting to make sense, huh?) "I wish I had the Morph-Gun right now!" Daxter folding his hands and prayed as hard as he could for his bad luck to end.

Meanwhile… 

A large shark wasn't feeling so good as it swim through the dark depths of the ocean. It swam to the surface and spit the problem out. The shark made a mental note to never eat a strange looking gun again.

Back in the Wasteland… 

"Ouch!" Daxter cried as the Morph-Gun dropped out of the sky and hit him on the head. It was wet and covered in drool, but it still worked. "Thank you…" He looked up into the heavens gratefully. He narrowed his eyes, flattened his ears, and smiled evilly at the Metal Heads as he put a finger on the trigger of the gun. "Bring it on, Metal Heads!" he made a gesture with his hand to show them to come closer. With a roar of fury, they all charged at the Ottsel, razor sharp claws ready. Daxter ducked and ran under their legs, being small it was rather easy to pull that on off. He turned around and let a blast of Red Eco from the Scatter-Gun at the back of the confused creatures. Only one fell to the ground, clearly never going to get up again. As Daxter struggled with the weight of the weapon, he switched it to the Wave Concussor and charged it up, as he shielded his eyes from the glowing light the gun was emitting. He waited until the Metal Heads where right next to him before he let the shot fly. The creatures let out a shrill screech as the red tidal wave made contact with their bodies. After that, there were five left. Daxter switched the gun to the Vulcan Fury mod and fired away. "Uhhhhhhhhh!" he mumbled as the gun charged up, sending thousands of bullets shooting out every second as the force shook him around. Three left! Daxter only took out a few because he switched it again when his arms started to get sore from the vibrating motion of the weapon. He aimed the Blaster and fired a blast of Yellow Eco at the Metal Head holding the shield. Instead, the blast bounced off of the shield and hit the other Metal Head. Two left.

"Yeah-ow!" Daxter cried in pain in the middle of his cheer as he felt a burning sensation on his back. He heard a roar of laughter from the Metal Head behind him, blood still dripping from its claws. Daxter winced at the pain of the slash on his back, but managed to aim the Blaster at a cliff nearby. He fired it and the shot bounced off of the cliff and hit the Metal Head with the shield in the back, taking it out. One left! Daxter growled at the remaining enemy and switched the Morph-Gun again. Replacing the Blaster mod with the Peace Maker, he aimed and fired a bolt of Blue Eco straight at the creature. It screeched and fell to the ground as the shot exploded on its chest and sent waves of crackling electricity through its body. "Oh, yeah!" Daxter, despite his condition, shouted in triumph.

He limped back to the Air Train and took it back to the city. Riding another Zoomer, he arrived at the Headquarters and took the elevator back up (still remembering to say please and thank you.) On the way up, Daxter made a mental note to never do anything for Samos again.

As Daxter stepped in, he saw that Jak was done from his break and talking to Samos. Both of them were laughing and they quickly stopped as the Ottsel trotted through the doors. "Alright, here's the mighty Precursor Rod!" Daxter handed it to Samos. "Wait until you guys hear about my battle with the Metal Heads! So there I was. Toe to toe with FIVE of the nastiest Metal Heads you ever saw. Slime oozing from monstrous jaws, teeth sharper than daggers. Slowly all TEN of 'em surrounded me. Do I surrender? No! I summoned my highly trained killer instincts and pounced. Yahhh! Ohhh! Cwooaaahhh!" Daxter blubbered on, showing off some kung-fu moves. "And when the dust cleared, there were TWENTY less Metal Heads in the world!" Daxter tried to count it out on his fingers. Jak rolled his eyes at the tall tale.

"You did remember to bring back the Morph-Gun right, Dax?"

"Of course I did!" Daxter tossed it back to Jak. "So Samos, what kind of magical powers doe that artifact hold?" Jak and Samos looked at each other and started laughing. "What!" Daxter demanded, impatiently.

"Well, Daxter, it has the ability to help with soup. I ran out of spoons the other day, so I sent you to go put up a legendary spoon which was disguised to look like a Precursor artifact," Samos explained. Daxter mouth hung open and his tail drooped.

"What! A SPOON! You had me go and get a SPOON! Do you know how much trouble I had to go through to get that thing! And it turns out that all it is, is a stupid SPOON!" Daxter shouted at the top of his lungs.

"Yeah, yeah, the rat who cried spoon!" another civilian guy said as he walked out the door. Daxter ran over and grabbed Jak's Morph-Gun again and ran after the annoying person with an angry expression on his face…

The end

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Author's Note: So, there ends yet another Daxter story. I hope it wasn't bad. You know what to do, click that review button down there and let me know if I did it good enough. Hope you enjoyed it! Look forward to more stories in the near future!

PurpleJackal


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